What’s So Special about Being Gay?

The vast majority of people in Britain are heterosexuals who have no interest in engaging in either same-sex or ‘kink’ activities. Roughly three per cent of the British population say that they are gay, lesbian, or bisexual, and just two per cent of people in Britain, Australia, and the United States, on average, have been involved in kink-based acts such as sadomasochism in the past year. These are both very much minority interests, and often qualify as pastimes foundational to the self-posited identities of the minorities engaging in them. 

The curious thing is, though, that one of these tiny sexual minorities has been afforded wider influence and publicity out of all proportion to the percentage actually engaging in it. Although between 97 per cent and 98 per cent of British adults are not gay, the symbol most associated with homosexuality, the rainbow, is now to be found everywhere; from police cars to schools and hospitals. It is hard to avoid hearing about or seeing evidence of this particular minority sexual practice. Even the captain of the English football team publicly advertises his endorsement of homosexuality by wearing a rainbow armband.

There is a huge amount of variation in human sexual proclivity, other than monogamous heterosexuality, which is by far and away the most common sexual identity. Some people take part in dogging, which entails sex with strangers. Others prefer sex with more than one partner at a time. Then too there are those who like to exchange partners—a practice known as wife-swapping or ‘swinging’. Others tie each other up or engage in same-sex activity. 

What is curious about all these things is that only one receives widespread encouragement and publicity as an acceptable substitute for heterosexual relationships. The gay lifestyle alone, out of all the many variations on offer, is, it seems, uniquely desirable and worthy of being embraced. 

On the face of it, this is odd. What is it about homosexuality which makes it something to be proud of, while those who go dogging or enjoy being whipped tend to be a little more reticent about their sexual appetites? It has been not inaptly remarked that from being “the love which dare not speak its name,” as one of Oscar Wilde’s lovers described it in the 1890s, homosexuality has now become the love which never stops speaking its name. 

Most people are probably quite indifferent to what their neighbours get up to in the bedroom, but that does not mean that they wish constantly to be reminded about it or to receive assurances that the people next door are ‘proud’ of their inclinations, as ‘Gay Pride’ exalts. This is in itself more than a little odd. It is generally accepted today, not least by gay people themselves, that sexuality is not a choice we make, but rather something which we simply have. Gay people do not make a conscious decision to be so, any more than heterosexuals have to scratch their heads in perplexity before deciding upon their own sexual identity. This being so, it must surely be absurd for any of us to claim to be ‘proud’ of our sexuality; whether it runs to same-sex liaisons, bondage, dogging, or along more conventional lines. One simply is gay, or not, as the case may be. For a man who happens to be six foot tall to boast that he is proud of the fact, as though it were some kind of achievement for which he had fought, would strike most of us as very peculiar.

It is when we compare the concept of Pride Month or a ‘gay pride’ march with that of any other minority sexual practice that the truly weird nature of such enterprises becomes apparent. In Britain, February is officially designated as Gay Pride Month. Imagine, if you will, a month set aside to demonstrate the pride of those involved in such things as dogging or flagellation. We would surely find this a little bizarre. There is, after all, all the difference in the world between not needing to feel ashamed of a sexual proclivity, which no adult needs do for consensual activities, on the one hand, and actually proclaiming one’s pride in the business.

It is not easy to see how we in Britain allowed ourselves to drift into such a state of affairs. It is perfectly true that homosexuals, together with those who go dogging in public places, have attracted the disapprobation of the police in this country in the past, but that is no longer the case. There seems to be no persecution of gay people in general, at least any more than there is of others with tastes a little out of the ordinary when it comes to sex. Indeed, a case could be made for asserting that some of those involved in sadomasochism are still subject to unfavourable attention from the police and indeed have been prosecuted in recent years, something which never happens now with gay people. Consider the case of the group of men who enjoyed nailing each other’s penises to doors. Their activities were entirely consensual and there had been no complaints from anybody about their behaviour, but when the police discovered what they had been up to, as a consequence of an unrelated enquiry, they arrested all five of them. These men were subsequently convicted of offences including malicious wounding and assault occasioning actual bodily harm, and were accordingly sent to prison.

Here, if you like, is an injustice. These men engaged in sexual activity which was wholly consensual and about which neither they nor anybody else had complained, and they were locked up for it. If such a thing happened to gay men for taking part in same-sex activities, then there would be a fearful outcry. But it seems that not all minority sexual practices are equal and although sadomasochism is almost as popular as homosexuality, those whose tastes run to it are still at hazard of being sent to prison for indulging their tastes. It is cases such as this which illustrate perfectly the privileged position enjoyed by homosexuals in Britain. Not only is there not the remotest chance of their being imprisoned because of their sexuality, but their own sexuality has also been raised to a special and protected status.

The position of homosexuality in Britain is a peculiar one and it is not easy to explain how we have arrived at such a point. Those who wish to beat each other during sex or to have sex with more than one partner at a time are not encouraged to shout about their proclivities from the rooftops. They certainly are not accorded the recognition of having their particular interests emblazoned on the side of police cars. It is sometimes alleged that gay people are disproportionately represented in certain professions such as the arts and broadcasting, and it is possible that this might be a factor in raising the profile of this predilection above that of other, equally common, practices. Whatever the explanation, there can be no doubt at all that homosexuality enjoys an especially favoured position in Britain.

Simon Webb is the author of many books on social and military history. He also runs the History Debunked YouTube channel.