Nancy and Paul Are NOT the King and Queen of the Swamp

Nancy and Paul Pelosi have definitely done nothing wrong. No fact-checking is necessary, no investigation is required. They just definitely, definitely haven’t done anything wrong. If you think they have—or if you even suspect it—that’s your problem. Take a good look at yourself; realise you are mistaken, sort your life out, and move on. There’s simply nothing to see here. 

Seriously, who are you to question the Pelosi’s? Who do you think you are? You’re not Eliot Ness. You’re not Judge Dredd. Are you even well known on the Georgetown dinner party circuit? No, I didn’t think so. Are you even a millionaire? No, didn’t think so. Best be quiet, then. You have no standing here.

The Pelosi’s really shouldn’t have to answer any pertinent questions; why should they? Are you forgetting that they are rich and powerful? Well don’t forget it, don’t you dare ever forget it. They are better than us, and as such, are above scrutiny and the law. C’mon Jack, get with the programme.

Here’s what you need to know, here’s the deal: Paul Pelosi has never done anything wrong. That’s a statement of pure, unequivocal fact. He certainly has never crashed his Porsche in Napa County while drunk. If you believe that conspiracy theory, you have lost all connection with reality. If you think you’ve seen non-DNC-aligned mainstream media outlets telling you that, you are wrong. Your eyes and ears have lied to you. You may well have a brain tumour. At the very least you are deplorable and highly gullible. Your ability to reason has gone haywire.

Nancy and Paul have definitely not used insider information to make extremely profitable investment decisions. No way. It’s not possible. I know it’s not possible. I know beyond any doubt, because that would mean that their integrity would be brought into question. And we all know that the Pelosi’s integrity is beyond question. Again, that is just a statement of unassailable fact. So that’s the end of that. That’s the end of the story. Certainly no need for the DOJ or the FTC to investigate. It would be entirely wrong for investigative journalists to keep probing the issue. It would be morally wrong. It would place them on the wrong side of history. The adults are in the room, governing, and should not be interrupted by pesky allegations of financial wrong-doing.

Heaven forbid anyone should have the temerity to bring formal accusations against them. That would be terrible. That would be as bad—possibly worse—than 9/11. It would, however, give the Pelosi’s the chance to show in open court that they have indeed done nothing wrong: ever. The discovery process would definitely exonerate them. There’s no question about that. The simple truth is that they are the goodies, and you—yes you—are the baddie. So they cannot be guilty of anything untoward. I’m sure you can see the cast iron logic there. 

Nancy herself is not guilty of any double standards. Good God no. If you think she is, you’re a full-blown White Nationalist, White Supremacist, MAGA-loving slack-jawed middle-American hillbilly. You are basically scum with the mind of an evil infant. You’re probably obsessed with Columbine and Dylann Roof. It would be for the best if you check yourself into a secure psychiatric clinic at the earliest opportunity.

For example, if you have a false memory floating around your empty head of when Nancy, with a smile and a shrug, dismissed the destruction and violence of summer 2020 with the mere reflection that “people will do what they do,” then you really need to check your privilege. If it is striking to you that summer 2020 seems of little or no importance to Nancy, but the events of January 6th are on par with Pearl Harbour, then, once again, you have lost all perspective. It’s pretty despicable of you to notice.

If you remember the Pelosi-led Democrats passing a bill through Congress— only to be narrowly defeated in the Senate—to try to pack the Supreme Court and award D.C. full statehood and removing the filibuster, in essence, trying to ruin the machinery of the American republic, if you remember that, you are clinically mad. If you remember Nancy labelling a failed attempt to impeach Trump as an actual impeachment, or her attempt to impeach him again after he had left office, which is nonsensical, if you think you remember any of those things, you are an enemy of the state. Be prepared to be raided in the small hours by the FBI. You are sick and twisted, probably a fascist, and almost certainly White, which as we all know is the worst crime of all.

The bottom line is this folks: the Pelosi’s are beyond reproach. That fact is all you need to know; the sooner you get that through your thick heads, the better. If you question them on any level then you are destroying America. You are an insurrectionist. Not only are Nancy and Paul not swamp creatures, they are definitely not the king and queen of the swamp. If anything, you are.