“In a Pickle”: British Student Dubbed ‘Miles of Kabul’ Has Afghanistan Holiday Disrupted by Taliban

A British university student has become stuck in war-torn Kabul after his “sun-soaked” holiday to Afghanistan was halted by the advance of the Taliban. 

Miles Routledge, 22, a second-year physics student at the University of Loughborough, first posted about his planned trip to Afghanistan on his Facebook account in May. Upon his arrival, the student reported on his initial travels in the country on the online message board 4chan, indicating that he had “decided to pop down and goof on in Afghanistan for a few days” because he had “never been before” and that the country seemed “more peaceful than London.”

However, Routledge’s pleasure-seeking trip was cut short when the Taliban unexpectedly swarmed much of northern Afghanistan in an offensive previously dismissed as impossible by US President Joe Biden. Speaking from a United Nations safe house in a now-deleted Twitch stream, Routledge said he was forced to abandon the prospect of a flight home as he arrived at Kabul airport and realised that “everyone had gone.” 

Deciding that his predicament would require him to “either die a man or leave with giant balls,” the student then made his way through the chaotic streets of the Afghan capital disguised in a burqa before he was eventually directed to a British military compound.

Upon reaching the safe house, though, a dehydrated and previously upbeat Routledge told his Facebook followers that he had suffered a mental breakdown after seeing “too many dead people.” 

“I just wanted this whole thing to be a little charity thing where I can explore a weird country but I’ve mentally broken down. I’m not sure what’s going on right now, my face in the mirror doesn’t look right.” 

However, in a follow-up post, the Birmingham born adventurer said that he had “no regrets” and was “back to normal” after “slapping” himself and conducting breathing techniques. Speaking later on Twitch, Routledge accredited his survival to his catholic faith and the help of the online community. “I was fully prepared for death, I accepted it. This trip has been a test of God. I’m very religious so I believe I’ll be looked after. Before I left I wrote a letter to my friends saying that if I died, not to feel guilty, that I would die happy and religious and proud … I’m forever grateful.”

4chan users were quick to honour Miles with names inspired by other British adventures such as Lawrence of Arabia. Another, ‘Lord Miles’, was based on a lordship that the student purchased in order to obtain a credit card bearing the name ‘Lord ML Routledge.’ 

“If the Taliban kidnap me, the plan is simple,” Routledge said. “I’m legally technically a lord - I bought a fake certificate, wore a suit in a bank and talked the talk … the Taliban may see that as reason enough to keep me alive.”

In his most recent update, Routledge said he was soon to be evacuated to a different compound but had been “given body armour” and was with the “best of the best.” Lotuseaters.com has approached Mr Routledge for comment.